It’s been a while since I have written anything. Lately, I have been reflective with my 25th birthday coming up in a few weeks. I am definitely not where I thought I would be at 25 (LOL). I have found myself in a strange season of life.
After finishing graduate school in May, I decided to take a temporary job on the farm staff at Camp Twin Lakes, which is an amazing organization that serves thousands of individuals with various disabilities, illnesses, and other life challenges. Others might have questioned this decision. I had just finished school; I should probably be starting my career, right? However, this was something I had always wanted to do, and I had to go for it. It turned out to be one of the best experiences. I met and worked with some amazing people, learned so much that will benefit me in any job and in life, and it was fun.
Since camp ended in August, I have moved back home. I am still looking for a job. It has been a lot tougher than I thought it would be. It is a little more difficult living in a small town, because everywhere you go it seems like someone you know is asking “What are you doing now?”. It gets old going through the whole spiel. Not to mention, the looks of shock and occasional flabbergasted reply of “What do you mean you can’t find a job?” “You spent all that time in school” (insert eye roll here). Meanwhile, my friends are thriving in careers, and I get wedding invitations every other week it seems. These are all good things of course, and like I said this is a reflective piece. It is not a life is rough right now piece, so please do not take it that way.
If I have learned anything during this time, is that you cannot plan anything, which is something I should know by now. We really cannot predict how things are going to change in our lives; we are not in control. I have always been a planner; I get it honestly. Shoutout to my mom. There’s nothing wrong with being a planner, but you can plan to a fault, where you aren’t living in the moment. Being more present in the moment is a goal of mine. Looking back in recent years and presently, one of if not my biggest regret is not being more spontaneous. Some of the best times I had in college were memories with friends that just happened. A good example is me throwing some stuff in a bag last minute and jumping in a truck with some friends headed to Auburn, Alabama for the weekend. That weekend is one of my favorite memories I have from college, and I didn’t know then that it would be the last time I saw a good friend.
There were so many times that I talked myself out of hanging out with friends or going to a concert, because I had a test or something else, I was worried about. I think we can all think back to situations like this; times we can’t have back. Especially, living in a pandemic. We took so much for granted. I’m sure I could’ve aced the test or made it up on the next one. In the last couple of months, I have been guilty of turning down things, saying things like “I don’t want to commit to that, because I’ll probably or should have a job by then”. It is kind of embarrassing seeing that in writing. As if, saying that is going to will me the right job. I am sorry that it has taken me this long to realize there is no logic in that. That’s like me spending money under the ideal that I am probably going to win the lottery next week. Anyway, if I’m focused on the positives of this season, I’ve been able to spend a few weekends at camp, I bought my first vehicle, celebrated my best friend getting married, watched my sister get engaged, and let’s not forget the world champion Atlanta Braves.
Don’t make the mistakes I have. Live in the moment. We can’t predict what comes next, but remember God is in control. Also, as I discussed in one of my early posts, there is no timeline to life or one right way to do things. Do not be embarrassed about the place you’re in, or feel like you have to explain yourself. Others may not understand, but it’s your life and your journey. You have to do what works for you. A college degree is the same if you do it in 4 or 14 years. Just because you’re 20 something, you don’t have to be a student. So, what if the job’s out of your field, go for it. Go to the concert. Take the trip. Make the move. Do what you need to do for you.
